I have quickly realized, it is NOT EASY to be living overseas. You are forced to abandon all you know and conform to cultural norms in a different country. I have also come to the realization that trying to keep a relationship with someone from home is quite difficult and not beneficial for my own spiritual growth.
Before leaving, I had the thought of making it work with my boyfriend because I believed that we were in love and we could go through anything. Not even a full week into being in Africa, I felt this void in my heart that was holding me back. I did not want to address it or admit it to myself or to him.
It took me a couple days to communicate with him about my feelings, knowing he didn’t feel the same way. But these past 12 days have taught me to :
1. Break the chain from past, in order to move on.
2. Clear myself from distractions.
3. I am nowhere near ready to be the mother or wife; I hope to be in the future.
4. I need to be easier on myself and do not compare myself to others.
Those 5 things seem so simple but have been the hardest things to come to terms with. I have realized, it is more important to love yourself through HIM rather than him. For me, I need to learn how to grow as a Christian, before I can commit to a relationship. And I cannot wait for the next 3 months learning to love myself with the help of God’s love and word.